this is what i listened to as i wrote this.
good evening to all of the incredibly kind people who still read the sporadic spatterings of my writing; your support warms my chilly little mind. a place to release all of this mess is a blessing in itself, and people who care is indescribable. i know i am not a consistent or reliable source of entertainment and for this fact i thank you for sticking around. xo
i write because i feel that i need to give you something, and because my lack of creativity starves me. it's been very warm lately, which is kind of an anomaly for northern ontario. on a happy note, in these past few months i was quite addicted to biking and the beastie boys - both radiant summer vibes.
this is a tiny list of three items from [recently] to give you a little update.
THREE LIFE THINGS___________________________________________________________________________
I. a few weeks ago was bible camp and i still breathe and bleed memories of its warmth and golden light. it is my home, it is my place of healing, and it is always the best week of my year.
II. two days ago was my first last day of secondary education. i am terrified but simultaneously relieved to be out of thishell hole high school so soon. i have no idea what to do with my life, now. i thought i knew, but i do not. everything used to be so theoretical: only ideas safely tucked away into the future. it is all real, now. decisions decide. i wanted to be a writer as a child. i don't know if i have it in me, now. i think i get a little emptier as i grow older.
III. my best friend followed Jesus Christ. :)
i do want to write more regularly on this space, i really do. unfortunately, my creative productivity often relies on my state of mind. hopefully, i can push past this and give written things to you as much as possible. thank you again for the love you have shown to me. stay ok, friends.
I. a few weeks ago was bible camp and i still breathe and bleed memories of its warmth and golden light. it is my home, it is my place of healing, and it is always the best week of my year.
II. two days ago was my first last day of secondary education. i am terrified but simultaneously relieved to be out of this
III. my best friend followed Jesus Christ. :)
i do want to write more regularly on this space, i really do. unfortunately, my creative productivity often relies on my state of mind. hopefully, i can push past this and give written things to you as much as possible. thank you again for the love you have shown to me. stay ok, friends.
#2 is so real...
ReplyDeleteI don't even know if I've commented here before, so hi :) I feel you on the state of mind/creativity thing, but I do sometimes find that writing or whatever despite having a creative block can really help everything. I know you've probably heard it a lot. Sometimes, I'm just too lazy though.
hello, thank you for stopping by. i love your drawings! :)
Deleteand yes, it can be a rough time. sometimes i write during creativity blocks, and yes it has helped at times. don't be too hard on yourself, my dear. lack of motivation can be seemingly impossible to push past. <3
I! LOVE ! UR! WORDS! AND! UR! SPACE! AND! U!
ReplyDeleteOh, this all makes me so happy. Number two is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. It's scary. I don't want to be emptier...but I feel like I am. Maybe it's just a block. I don't know.
ReplyDeleteThat's so exciting about your friend!! So so so so so happy to hear that <3
i'll always be here for you. love this post and just know that society says you have to decide what do to with your life after high school, but i say don't decide. just live, follow Christ, and do what you love. and if you don't know what that is yet, then explore options. it's a big world and a big life, but don't let that frighten you, let it inspire you <3
ReplyDeleteP.s #3 is the best possible new. Praise the Lord for a new sibling in Christ!
whoa! I love that last photo of you! Super creative!
ReplyDelete