the summer bucket list

abby: *writes sidebar updates* *redesigns blog* *reads her own posts* *edits her old posts* *never writes posts*

this is my last summer of freedom. in september, i will be partially enrolling in public school (kill me now), beginning grade eleven, and finally scraping my life together by acquiring a part-time job. it's horrifying - i am going to be forced to deal with other humans, and shoulder responsibilities. i will no longer be completely homeschooled. i'm going to be accountable to new orders: new authorities. i won't be able to hang around my basement for most of my day in my sports bra and sweat pants, making myself coffee every two hours. it is barbaric; it is frightening. on top of all this, my older brother wants me to apply to write for esquire. yes, the magazine populated and read by thirty-year-old, vaguely philosophical men with kodiak boots and red beards. i am a white, middle-class, teenage girl. maybe they will find this ironic and endearing, but i vibrantly doubt it.

i asked evelyn what i should write about, and she said "you should write a list of things to do in the summer". so yeah, that's what's going down. i'm going to write about what i want to do in this: my last summer of being a child... thank you, eva.

i am probably not going to die this summer. at least, i'm not exactly planning on it. the implication of the kicked bucket in the title of this post will have to be translated as a metaphor: i will be writing about the things i hope to accomplish before the metaphorical summer bucket is kicked. you should all also do these things, if {you know} you want to.

my children, this summer you must live.

1. READ BOOKS.
one of my most frequent regrets is that i do not read enough. it's very true; i don't. although, it could also be argued that i read too much, as i read so many books simultaneously that it takes me months and months to finish a specific book. it's a bit of a tragedy. but i love to read; i love to read under trees and in the rain, so i think that i will read more this summer.

2. EXPLORE MORE TERRITORY.
literally, mentally, emotionally, socially, internationally, locally, in literature, in music, in art, in people.

3. KEEP LEARNING.
i complain about school for most of the year and then miss it when it is gone. i love to learn. i love to obtain knowledge; i want to sink my fingers into a rich wealth of information and withdraw everything i can hold. i am going to continue to learn, this summer, as much as possible. i'm going to keep studying latin and french and read more international news websites and learn more constellations and keep a compass with me everywhere.

4. COLLECT RISKS & TAKE EXPERIENCES.

5. LEARN ALL MY FAVOURITE SONGS ON GUITAR.
i have an extremely basic mastery of the instrument and i wish to become better acquainted with it. my older brothers both play guitar with beautiful and fiery passion, and i love the sound so much. i'm going to learn a bit of radiohead, a bit of imagine dragons, a bit of tchaikovsky (if humanly possible on guitar), a bit of fleetwood mac and a bit of folk.

6. PLAY TENNIS. 
i've always thought of it as a more civilized sport (i like civilized sports. i.e. tennis and boxing.) and my pretty incredible dad told me that he would teach me how to play. i'm not going to wear a skirt.

7. MEET NEW PEOPLE: CARE FOR THEM.

8. LIVE FULL DAYS.
i want to meet people and kayak more and train myself to be a better boxer. i want to drink a lot of tea; i want to go to the library and do yoga before bed more often. i want to sleep tired and hard, with a wealth for my brain to digest. i want to hurt and laugh. i want give beautiful things away, like love and companionship and kindness and knowledge. i want to live full days. i am probably going to end up wasting 45% of my summer on the internet, but it's nice to fantasize.

9. READ THE ENTIRE NEW TESTAMENT. 
i have never read the entirety of it together, and i really should. i love to hear Jesus speak. i love to hear of him healing the sick, i love to see him take the little children into his arms, i love to read of him being moved with compassion, anger, passion, love. i love the epistles and the depths of knowledge layered inside them. revelation fascinates and terrifies and enthrals me. i'm going to read the entire new testament this summer.

10. WRITE EVERY SINGLE DAY.
i'm shooting for the small goal of 350+ words a day. i know, it definitely is not very much, but i need to set an attainable goal if i will be able to accomplish this. whether it's in my novels, in my journals, in my books of poetry, or on this blog, i want to write at least three-hundred and fifty words every day.

11. EMBRACE MY AFFINITY FOR RAIN.
i think a lot of people say that they like rain, but they do not when faced with the cold, muddy reality of rain. i love rain, a lot. i will purposely walk and run and read outside in the rain because i love the rain. it feels cleansing and profound and silvery and wonderful and i love the rain. i am going to spend as much enjoying it as possible.

12. WATCH SOME AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER.

13. PAINT MY FACE LIKE JACK MERRIDEW AND WALK THROUGH THE WOODS.
i did this once last year with extremely fulfilling results.

14. WRITE MORE POETRY.
i filled a slender poetry book for 2014 and i am yet to create one for this year. when this new book is in existence, its pages will brim and drip and cascade with poetry for Jesus and the stars, raw and ragged outcries, philosophical epigrams, ballads, three-chord acoustic lovesongs...

15. LOOK UP.
these summer nights, i will watch the stars. i will look up, i will calculate, i will memorize, i will discover. and i know that my heart will forever be encased in slavery to the love of the faultless northern skies.