you can't win | an undefined list

I've been hesitant to talk about this because it's so young and kind of dumb, but as I said previously I have a new work in progress. It's eight terrifying pages in; I write slowly because I don't have the time (and also no concrete plot). I guess this is an introduction to You Can't Win, which I will hopefully talk about more in the future.

I. THE BOY | His name is Ivar Volkov. He's seventeen in the opening scene but most of the book will describe his life as he is nineteen years old. Ivar is the Anglicized version of the Russian name "Yvor". He's a fighter: little quiet, a little sad. He's calculating and perceptive; he cares profoundly for people.

My vision was black with swimming stars when he hit me again. My fault; my head wasn’t tucked to my shoulder and I wasn’t paying attention. It’s very bad, my attention span. It’s very bad for a boxer. It’s sad, really. The boxer with ADHD. I’m half Russian. Russians are supposed to be good at this. I swung a hook and missed, but I brought my gloves to my face and the ends of my elbows back to my torso in time, this time, to absorb his retaliation: a jab to the body. I was happy. But I was still losing, with twenty seconds. You can’t really win in twenty seconds, unless you’re very good and not tired. I was not good yet. Eight years, almost nine, and I was not good in the ring yet. It’s one thing to stab at a heavy bag, and it’s another to stab at a man who stabs back.

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II. THE CREW | Ivar's crew: a little street gang of young, unabashed New York City club boxers who consist mostly of his childhood friends, I guess. The cast has tended to be a bit fluid so far, so these boys that I'm going to tell you about might not be in existence in a week. Or they might have a different name, a different face, or [heck.] even a different gender, because I'm perpetually changing my mind. 

i. Aleks is Ivar's little brother. Passively angry most of the time. Likes Radiohead and dogs. Changes his mind a lot. Doesn't know what to do with himself. He admires his brother deeply and thoughtfully, but wouldn't admit it for the world.

ii. Andy is Ivar's best friend. He probably has some sort of very deep and tragic back story that I haven't figured out yet. But anyway, he's quiet and solid and he plays guitar. He's a bit of a steamroller in the ring; he's the middleweight of their crew. I love him.

iii. Jess is the glue of the pack, and a lightweight: quick, with very good footwork. He's optimistic and extremely alive. He laughs, a lot, talks a lot, and lives and believes with passion. He thinks he's a Bollywood star. He also has an older sister with whom Ivar is a little bit in love.

iv. Kieran is a welterweight, like Ivar. He's erratic. He's unpredictable; he wins his fights with ingenuity. He's a bit of a genius, I guess, but it comes with a price. He has a very important role to play in the novel which I cannot tell you about.

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III. JIST | I have many, many ideas for this novel, but unfortunately I am still without a story. This is usually my problem... I can create a sphere of flavours, people, sounds, emotions, aesthetics and pains, but I cannot easily construct a working series of events. I don't know very much about what will happen in the story, but I know what it is about.

It is about boxing: the pain and the calculation and the insecurity and the sweat and the lights and the shaking lungs. It is about New York City: the people, the yellow lights, the steel castles, the aura of ordered chaos and the streets that shine and glow silver in the rain. It is about physical and mental pain. It's about depression. It's about growing up. It's about everything that is hard and cold, and everything that hurts, and everything that reminds you that you are human. It's a little bit about nice, happy stuff too. And it is about Jesus Christ, somehow.